The Grandest of Gaucheries

"If no woman in your life has ever talked to you about how she lives her life with an undercurrent of..."

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 01:03:50 -0400

“If no woman in your life has ever talked to you about how she lives her life with an undercurrent of fear of men, consider the possibility that it may be because she sees you as one of those men she cannot really trust.”

- Chris Clarke, How Not To Be An Asshole: A Guide For Men

FEELING THIS HARD

(via eibmorb)

And sometimes when you try you quickly learn they were one of those ones you can’t trust.

This is the best thing I have ever seen.

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 01:00:20 -0400

This is the best thing I have ever seen.

wordscanbesexy: heatherbat: callmebliss: hellotailor: rubdown...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:58:53 -0400

wordscanbesexy:

heatherbat:

callmebliss:

hellotailor:

rubdown:

lovelymoonbeams:

stunningpicture:

‘Cause people seem to only post the 20-something Audrey Hepburn

this is genuinely the first photo i’ve seen of her looking older

I didn’t know Audrey Hepburn grew old into a bomb-ass old lady until like, last year. I thought she died young cuz that’s the only pictures I’ve ever seen.

omg

<3

she was also the granddaughter of a baron, the daughter of a nazi sympathizer, spent her teens doing ballet to secretly raise money for the dutch resistance against the nazis, and spent her post-film career as a goodwill ambassador of UNICEF, winning the presidential medal of freedom for her efforts.

and history remembers her as pretty.

\o/

and history remembers her as pretty.

and history remembers her as pretty.

and history remembers her as pretty.

"To all those who don’t think the rape joke was a problem, or rape jokes are a problem. I get it,..."

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 23:44:13 -0400

“

To all those who don’t think the rape joke was a problem, or rape jokes are a problem.

I get it, you’re a decent guy. I can even believe it. You’ve never raped anybody. You would NEVER rape anybody. You’re upset that all these feminists are trying to accuse you of doing something or connect you to doing something that, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve never done and would never condone.

And they’ve told you about triggers, and PTSD, and how one in six women is a survivor, and you get it. You do. But you can’t let every time someone gets all upset get in the way of you having a good time, right?

So fine. If all those arguments aren’t going anything for you, let me tell you this. And I tell you this because I genuinely believe you mean it when you say you don’t want to hurt anybody, and you don’t see the harm, and that it’s important to you to do your best to be a decent and good person. And I genuinely believe you when you say you would never associate with a rapist and you think rape really is a very bad thing.

Because this is why I refuse to take rape jokes sitting down-

6% of college age men, slightly over 1 in 20, will admit to raping someone in anonymous surveys, as long as the word “rape” isn’t used in the description of the act.

6% of Penny Arcade’s target demographic will admit to actually being rapists when asked.

A lot of people accuse feminists of thinking that all men are rapists. That’s not true. But do you know who think all men are rapists?

Rapists do.

They really do. In psychological study, the profiling, the studies, it comes out again and again.

Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.

If one in twenty guys is a real and true rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, really cool guy, then it is almost a statistical certainty that one time hanging out with friends and their friends, playing Halo with a bunch of guys online, in a WoW guild, or elsewhere, you were talking to a rapist. Not your fault. You can’t tell a rapist apart any better than anyone else can. It’s not like they announce themselves.

But, here’s the thing. It’s very likely that in some of these interactions with these guys, at some point or another someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that they didn’t mean it, and it was just a joke. And so you laughed.

And, decent guy who would never condone rape, who would step in and stop rape if he saw it, who understands that rape is awful and wrong and bad, when you laughed?

That rapist who was in the group with you, that rapist thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. And he felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades.

You. The rapist’s comrade.

And if that doesn’t make you feel sick to your stomach, if that doesn’t make you want to throw up, if that doesn’t disturb you or bother you or make you feel like maybe you should at least consider not participating in that kind of humor anymore…

Well, maybe you aren’t as opposed to rapists as you claim.

”

- Time-Machine (via a comment at shakesville.com)

Single greatest argument about this I have ever heard.

(via justintheallan)

and this is how you explain why joking about rape is horrible, with none of those shit metaphors comparing women to watches or houses or cars or sandcastles or whathaveyou

(via strawberreli)

strahovskii: if you have not ever done a dramatic rendition of total eclipse of the heart by...

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 18:54:43 -0500

strahovskii:

if you have not ever done a dramatic rendition of total eclipse of the heart by yourself you are lying and everyone knows it so please stop

Truth.

stfuconservatives: Designer creates world’s first line of...

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 18:51:24 -0500

stfuconservatives:

Designer creates world’s first line of lingerie for women with colostomy bags

A friend linked this to me. This seems frivolous, but it’s actually a pretty big deal for women who have digestive diseases (like colitis) that are sometimes treated with colostomies (where they remove the diseased part of the colon and link the healthy end to an external bag). The designer said he had friends who were nervous about being naked with a new partner because of their situation. So this guy made stoma plugs that look like cute accessories, not medical devices. That fabric flower in the photo above is actually serving a health purpose in addition to being adorable. The designer also found a way to redesign the colostomy bag so that it doesn’t bulge under clothing and has a vent for gas - again, big deals for people who live with them every day.

This is awesome.

"It always struck me that men actually might benefit from the “bumbling idiot” stereotype. In very..."

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 18:48:58 -0500

“

It always struck me that men actually might benefit from the “bumbling idiot” stereotype. In very many of the dysfunctional heterosexual relationships I’ve observed, men basically only work then come home and do nothing, and women do a majority of the actual work and men use this learned or feigned helplessness to get women to do everything for them. They’re socialized this way, I think. I married this very equality talking, sensitive, feminist-ally, politically correct kind of man and yet the day we got back from our honeymoon, my ex husband suddenly became an infant who no longer knew how to operate an iron, pack a grocery bag, balance the budget, take a pee without splattering the entire bathroom, flush the toilet, cook his own meals, return phone calls, put his own dishes in the sink before they turned moldy, or even drop letters off at the post office.

The bumbling idiot stereotype doesn’t hurt men. Men are not being denied jobs or health care or legal rights because of being seen as bumbling idiots. They benefit from the stereotype because it means that women do everything.

”

-
mousesinger (via swordssoarewords)

by Kate Beaton

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 18:44:40 -0500

by Kate Beaton

"If we actually started calling bullying what it is and address it as racism, sexism, homophobia,..."

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 02:44:29 -0500

“If we actually started calling bullying what it is and address it as racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, fat phobia and classism it would actually give children a better way to deal with the very same power dynamics they will face as adults, while also giving adults more responsibility to challenge the intolerance that is rooted within our society overall.”

- Amanda Levitt at Fat Body Politics (October 5th, 2012)

"When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things that you are supposed to be: emotional,..."

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 02:41:10 -0500

“When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things that you are supposed to be: emotional, loving, beautiful, wanted. And then when you are those things, the world tells you they are inferior: illogical, weak, vain, empty. The world teaches you that the way you exist in it is disgusting — you watch boys cringe backward in your dorm room when you talk about your period, blue water pretending to be blood in a maxi pad commercial. It is little things, and it is constant. In a food court in a mall, after you go to the gynecologist for the first time, you and your friend talk about how much it hurts, and over her shoulder you watch two boys your age turn to look at you and wrinkle their noses: the reality of your life is impolite to talk about. The world says that you don’t have a right to the space you occupy, any place with men in it is not yours, you and your body exist only as far as what men want to do with it. At fifteen, you find fifteen-year-old boys you have never met somehow believe you should bend your body to their will. At almost thirty, you find fifteen-year-old boys you have never met still somehow believe you should bend your body to their will. They are children. They are children.”

- Stevie Nicks (via clingy)

Distinguished sociologist Erving Goffman noted that women in...

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 01:21:30 -0500

Distinguished sociologist Erving Goffman noted that women in photographs are often portrayed in compromising or submissive situations such as having the head turned upwards to expose the neck or in a contorted stances often with light self-touching. Such poses invite the gaze of the viewer and make the subject of the photograph seem vulnerable and exposed to sexualization.

iammadeofstuff: As a fashion professional I can also tell you...

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 01:18:02 -0500

iammadeofstuff:

As a fashion professional I can also tell you that the clothing they produce is low grade garbage meant to break down quickly so you will have to purchase more.
a-colourfullife:

This is Richard Hayne, President and CEO of Urban Outfitters. He’s also a supporter of Rick Santorum and donated over $13,000 to him. He’s against gay marriage and abortion.

His company pulled a pro-gay shirt back in 08, they also blatantly ripped off an Etsy designers work, featured a t-shirt for women that said “eat less” and most recently had a card with a “tranny” slur on in.

Why do you shop at this store? I imagine because you weren’t aware of these facts. Now you are, so stop shopping there.

TRANS COUCHSURFING NETWORK - PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THE HELL OUT OF THIS

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 00:38:54 -0500

TRANS COUCHSURFING NETWORK - PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THE HELL OUT OF THIS:

transcouchnetwork:

Hi! I just started a tumblr, the Transgender Couchsurfing Network. After seeing dozens of posts come across my dash about displaced or homeless trans people needing places to crash, I decided that there had to be a way to organize these posts somehow, and to put those in need in contact with those willing to lend a hand. If you’re trans and need a place to stay, or if you have a couch or floor or spare bedroom available for someone in need, I urge you to reblog this post, follow the blog, and get the word out. Everything is still under heavy construction, but the more people that see and hear about this blog, the more people will be able to benefit from it! I know that there are so many people here on tumblr who are in need of a place to stay for a night or two, and I also know how many amazing, wonderful people would be willing to host someone and help out a trans person in need. We all know what a huge problem unemployment and homelessness are for trans people (especially TPOC and trans women) — even a place to stay for a night can make the biggest difference! So PLEASE, even if you can’t offer up your couch, REBLOG AND SIGNAL BOOST. I really, really think that this is something that could help a lot of people, and I would LOVE to see this spammed all over my dash and the dashes of all of my lovely followers!!

bialogue-group: This is why gender neutral bathrooms are...

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 00:28:46 -0500

bialogue-group:

This is why gender neutral bathrooms are necessary

"Queerness, to me, is about far more than homosexual attraction. It’s about a willingness to see all..."

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 00:10:29 -0500

“Queerness, to me, is about far more than homosexual attraction. It’s about a willingness to see all other taboos broken down. Sure, many of us start on this path when we first feel “same sex” or “same gender” attraction (though what is sex? And what is gender? And does anyone really have the same sex or gender as anyone else?). But queerness doesn’t stop there.
This is a somewhat controversial stance, but to me queer means something completely different than “gay” or “lesbian” or “bisexual.” A queer person is usually someone who has come to a non-binary view of gender, who recognizes the validity of all trans identities, and who, given this understanding of infinite gender possibilities, finds it hard to define their sexuality any longer in a gender-based way. Queer people understand and support non-monogamy even if they do not engage in it themselves. They can grok being asexual or aromantic. (What does sex have to do with love, or love with sex, necessarily?) A queer can view promiscuous (protected) public bathhouse sex with strangers and complete abstinence as equally healthy.
Queers understand that people have different relationships to their bodies. We get what it means to be stone. We know what body dysphoria is about. We understand that not everyone likes to get touched the same way or to get touched at all. We realize that people with disabilities may have different sexual needs, and that people with survivor histories often have sexual triggers. We can negotiate safe and creative ways to be intimate with people with HIV/AIDs and other STIs.
Queers understand the range of power and sensation and the diversity of sexual dynamics. We are tops and bottoms, doms and subs, sadists and masochists and sadomasochists, versatiles and switches. We know what we like and don’t like in bed.
We embrace a wide range of relationship types. We can be partners, lovers, friends with benefits, platonic sweethearts, chosen family. We can have very different dynamics with different people, often all at once. We don’t expect one person to be able to fulfill all our diverse needs, fantasies and ideals indefinitely.
Because our views on relationships, sex, gender, love, bodies, and family are so unconventional, we are of necessity anti-assimilationist. Because under the kyriarchy we suffer, and watch the people we love suffering, we are political. Because we want to survive, we fight. We only want the freedom to be ourselves, love ourselves, love each other, and live together. Because we are routinely denied that, we are pissed.
Queer doesn’t mean “don’t label me,” it means “I am naming myself.” It means “ask me more questions if you curious” and in the same breath means “fuck off.””

- What Queerness Means To Me « Tranarchism (via docasaur)

(via strugglingtobeheard)

sugarbooty: My vegan caramel sauce came out tasting more like...

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 22:07:31 -0500

sugarbooty:

My vegan caramel sauce came out tasting more like butterscotch but I AIN’T MAD

So not only is Jasika Nicole (aka Astrid from Fringe) a bad-ass queer WOC with a wicked analysis, she’s also (probably) vegan?!

Photo

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 22:05:25 -0500

abbreviated.: in memory of adrienne rich: splittings.

Tue, 21 Aug 2012 23:27:36 -0400

abbreviated.: in memory of adrienne rich: splittings.:

lindseyannebaker:

I’ve always loved this poem, but I didn’t understand it until I was older. Adrienne, I hope one day I write something as beautifully as you wrote this.
1. My body opens over San Francisco like the day – light raining down each pore crying the change of light I am not with her I have been...

"How terribly sad it is that people are made in such a way that they get used to something as..."

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 23:29:53 -0400

“How terribly sad it is that people are made in such a way that they get used to something as extraordinary as living.”

- Jostein Gaarder, The Solitaire Mystery (via nirvikalpa)

"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the..."

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 23:11:19 -0400

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”

- Kurt Vonnegut (via weirdbitterdays)